Not in our timing, but yours Lord!

We were so excited yesterday. Ready to see and hold our new baby. We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 AM and got set up with our nurse, Krystal who was a lot of fun. For twelve hours, I had to wait to have my cervix softened before being truly induced. I was only at 1 cm, but the doctor and the nurse was very hopeful that I would soften.

Twelve hours of being in bed, maybe getting up for bathroom break for five minutes proved to be tough on my body. I could not sit up. I had to lay on an incline and the contractions were heading for my spine. I was ready to walk and move...my body was telling me I needed it.
When the night nurse, Morgan (who seemed to have a great love for the Lord), came and checked me, I was only a 1. We had a conversation earlier and she reminded me of what I said, "God's timing, not yours."
In that moment, I realized that not invited God into the decision process of having the induction. I did not pray on it, I worked out of my flesh. Not because I was done being pregnant, but because I wanted to hold and see the gift God gave me and the timing was more my choice than anything. I thought I saw a loop hole and worked out of my wants instead of my needs.
This morning, I awoke to read 1 Samuel 1-3. A beautiful reminder of working in God's will from Hannah, to Eli and his sons and Samuel himself. In 1 Samuel 3: 19 it says "The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground." I felt like I had really let His words slip to the ground regarding this induction. He was trying to speak to me, but I was unwilling to hear because of what I wanted.
So, here we are. Sunday, a beautiful day, waiting on God's will, instead of my own. She will come, but only in His time and I will seek Him first in all decisions regarding the next steps.