Not in our timing, but yours Lord!

We were so excited yesterday. Ready to see and hold our new baby. We arrived at the hospital at 7:30 AM and got set up with our nurse, Krystal who was a lot of fun. For twelve hours, I had to wait to have my cervix softened before being truly induced. I was only at 1 cm, but the doctor and the nurse was very hopeful that I would soften.

Twelve hours of being in bed, maybe getting up for bathroom break for five minutes proved to be tough on my body. I could not sit up. I had to lay on an incline and the contractions were heading for my spine. I was ready to walk and move...my body was telling me I needed it.
When the night nurse, Morgan (who seemed to have a great love for the Lord), came and checked me, I was only a 1. We had a conversation earlier and she reminded me of what I said, "God's timing, not yours."
In that moment, I realized that not invited God into the decision process of having the induction. I did not pray on it, I worked out of my flesh. Not because I was done being pregnant, but because I wanted to hold and see the gift God gave me and the timing was more my choice than anything. I thought I saw a loop hole and worked out of my wants instead of my needs.
This morning, I awoke to read 1 Samuel 1-3. A beautiful reminder of working in God's will from Hannah, to Eli and his sons and Samuel himself. In 1 Samuel 3: 19 it says "The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground." I felt like I had really let His words slip to the ground regarding this induction. He was trying to speak to me, but I was unwilling to hear because of what I wanted.
So, here we are. Sunday, a beautiful day, waiting on God's will, instead of my own. She will come, but only in His time and I will seek Him first in all decisions regarding the next steps.

At the Hospital...

Right now, we are hangning out a the hospital. It should be another nine hours or so with the cervix softening but it is so worth it to see Penny!
Our nurse is awesome. She is a lot of fun and very informative. I truly love this hospital.
We are trying to be patient but I can't wait to see Penny. I am praying the process will be way shorter than what they are saying, I am hoping she gets fed up with lack of space and comes out soon. God has this though...His timing is way better than mine.

Getting Ready...

Our new addition, Penelope, (also known as Penny), should be coming quite soon. I am just starting to nest and Dan and I are both very excited about the new addition to our family.

So many people ask me if I am worried about her birth or the process. Since I have never done this before, I am unsure what to fear. I know that there will be pain but to fear it before feeling it is a new step for me. I am very grateful for my recovery. My hope is that through the birthing process I will use my steps. I have a feeling that I will be in a place of powerlessness!

Her room is finally finished and we truly love it. We wanted to do a jungle theme but ended up with butterflies instead. We like it even more. I have a feeling this suits her so much better. I think that we have all we need. I know people have had babies with much less. God has provided so much for us. I have never felt so spoiled in God's love and blessings. Just need to remind myself not to be rotten!

I have loved being pregnant. The way it feels is truly a blessing. I am only eager to have her come because I want to see what she looks like. From the ultrasounds, she seems to have Dan's nose, juicy lips, hair and big feet. I think when she come out, I may hold her and never let her go. Such a miracle. It is overwhelming.

The one thing I am most excited about is Penny meeting her Dad. She has no idea how much she is going to laugh and smile with him. Well, she might already have a good idea. He is so excited. I know he will be an excellent Dad!

Well, back to the waiting game. I think I may take a couple long walks. You never know...